I’m always rather confused about whether a trailer with Tom Cruise in it seems good because the movie looks as though it could be fairly decent, or if it seems good simply because Tom Cruise is in it and I feel obligated to like it due to some sort of left over adoration for Days of Thunder. Regardless of whether or not that is the case, this isn’t one of those trailers. The overwhelming use of echo reverb in this trailer is enough to condemn it, but more pressing than that is the fact that this is the fourth incarnation of this story. The radio broadcast was first, the 1953 movie was second, the 1988 TV series was third, and this pile of trash comes in fourth.
Luckily, there are enough special effects in this film to leave you sick and hung over for days. Just like when you go out for Chinese and don’t need to eat for days, you won’t need to see a living soul for days after witnessing this many computer induced visuals in a two hour period. In fact, you may not need to witness another human soul for the rest of your life, simply living off the induced reality which is the essence of this film.
As long as we’re discussing the topic of Tom Cruise—which is really the only reason you were going to see this movie anyway—Mission Impossible III (henceforth referred to as MIIII) is in preproduction at this very moment. Mission Impossible II was a really good movie up until the last twenty minutes, at which point John Woo couldn’t take it anymore and had to blow up several tankers worth of gasoline and use up several miles of film while filming approximately fifteen minutes worth of slow motion action shots.
MIIII is being directed by J.J. Abrams, who’s directed a bunch of crap I’ve never heard of, except for “Alias” which was one of the more badass TV series I’ve had the pleasure of viewing; so there’s at least one reason this movie should see the light of day instead of being banished to the fourth, or quite possibly seventh, circle of Hell.
Aside from that one fact though, MIIII has at least five things going against it:
- If sequels never live up to the original, then the third installment never, ever works out for the better.
- Actually, fuck it. I’m going to go see this movie, just like you are. I mean, in addition to Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames is in it, and he’s a total bad ass, so you’re almost obligated to make an appearance. Not to mention, you’ve invested at least four hours of your life into the first two movies, so at this point, a few more isn’t going to make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things.
- If you want to subject yourself to another Mission Impossible movie: 1
- Screw it; I’m seeing it anyway: 2
- Wasn’t this preview about War of the Worlds originally?: 1
- I’ll give War of the Worlds a higher rating just for the hell of it and because I kind of shafted its preview time: 2
