Upon attempting to view the trailer for Green Street Hooligans, I was greeted by the blue glowing QuickTime logo. Thinking the page was loading, I watched for several minutes before realizing the page was in fact broken. You may have better results than I, but considering I have no actual trailer to go on, I’m going to make up the entire review based off the press blurb next to the poster on the trailer page. Although some might argue that this is taking things a little too far; I’ll argue the review will turn out pretty much the same as it would have if I’d gone the usual route and based the entire thing off little to no factual data after watching the trailer.
Enjoy.
In this movie Elijah Wood attempts to shed the type casting three successive roles as a small hobbit has no doubt had. He plays a hobbit, I mean dwarf, er…college student who has been “expelled unfairly from Harvard,”–ok, let’s just stop right there. Although I can imagine certain situations in which one might be expelled from a university, possibly even situations in which such an expulsion could be considered unfair, it seems highly unlikely to me that one would be expelled “unfairly” from an institution to which one is doling out over $40,000 per year. Quite frankly, if I were in charge of such a lucrative machine, I would want to keep every disbursing individual firmly rooted for as long as possibly could, fairly or not. However, such matters are probably not for me to decide, as I am not in charge of such an establishment nor am I in charge of the production of this film.
Moving on…
“Once there, he is befriended by her charming and dangerous brother-in-law, Pete Dunham” who’s last name sounds surprisingly like the last name of the actor who portrays him, Charlie Hunnam. It’s usually my opinion that someone, somewhere should be in charge of catching things like this specifically to keep people like me, with nothing better to do, from posting material about it on the internet, but then again, if I were in charge of things in Hollywood there would be a lot more movies featuring Catherine Zeta Jones.
After befriending Dunham, various hilarities ensure and Elijah is eventually “introduced to the underworld of British football hooliganism.” Quite frankly, I was fairly skeptical that hooliganism was even a word, but it turns out it most certainly is and in fact has a slew of equally amusing comparatives such as: hooliganize, hooliganesque, and hooliganic—which means “resembling that of hooligans” but which brings to mind hordes of hooliganics riding across the plains, swinging various weapons, searching for various persons and properties to hooliganize.
Quite clearly, this movie is going to be pretty awesome, what with all the hooliganizing and goings on. Be sure to hooliganesque yourself right over to the theater when it comes out.
- If you want to see Elijah Wood reprise his role as a lovable hobbit: 1
- If you’ve moved on from the Lord of the Rings: 2
- If you realized at the beginning of this review that I didn’t check the release date and this movie has been out for over a month: 2 ½
- If you’re hooliganic: 3
