When I originally wrote this review, I went largely off my memory of the original Aeon Flux series on MTV. After I was done, I reread the thing and realized my memory couldn’t possibly be anywhere near accurate as there was no possible way that much gore and sexual conduct could have made it onto TV. So I revisited the original episodes, plowing through a five hour viewing marathon with only minimal pauses for bathroom breaks and hot chocolate. It turns out I was right, there is no way that much gore and sexual conduct should have made it onto TV, but someone in the PR department must have been asleep on the day they approved Aeon Flux, because somehow it aired for two full years before anyone noticed.
It’s important to note there were really two versions of the original Aeon Flux: the original shorts aired on Liquid Television, and the half hour episodes aired the next year. The original shorts were popular enough MTV offered Peter Chung a second season spot with full half hour slots. The two iterations of the series were different enough I feel an analysis of the film in relation to each is warranted.
Original Liquid Television Shorts
The original Liquid Television spots were only four minutes a piece, and Aeon died at the end of each episode. Mostly likely the movie will be around two hours long, so if the film followed the spirit of the original shorts Aeon would die at least 30 times during the course of the movie.
Aeon wears a lot less clothes. If the movie were to follow the same wardrobe format Charlize Theorn would be wearing…well, basically practically nothing. Although I have no personal objections to this, the MPAA ratings board might.
In the Liquid Television spots Aeon was not a particularly good spy. In fact, she was downright horrible. It’s quite possible, given a snazzy spy suit of some sort and a can of Extra Super Hold Aqua Net, I could have easily bested her in hand-to-hand spy combat. The scene in the trailer where Charlize Theron stops herself just short of being cut to bits by razor blades of grass would have culminated in Aeon having an itch, or tripping on a shoelace, or being shot by a stray bullet all of which would have resulted in her untimely death and segmentation until the next episode.
Aeon never talked in these early episodes. In fact, none of the characters ever uttered a comprehendible word. There is a bit of garbled speech similar to the type Charlie Brown’s mother used to spout on Peanuts, but that’s about as close as it gets. During the trailer for the movie, Aeon practically stands on a box and preaches to the masses about uprisings, patriotism, or some other such drivel which really didn’t matter in the larger context of the early episodes which mostly consisted of gun fights and various French kiss close-ups.
Second Season Half Hour Spots
I was going to continue my “in depth analysis,” and make several comments about Charlize Theron wearing tight black leather, but three things have stopped me:
- Quite clearly the movie is based off the second season as it includes an actual plotline, coherent dialogue, zero deaths of the main character, and a lot more scantily clad individuals, therefore, further analysis isn’t really necessary nor is it very amusing.
- I’ve gotten rather bored with the whole thing.
- I’m watching the trailer again because Charlize Theron is wearing tight black leather.
Therefore, I’ve decided to finish up the review by focusing on an even more important aspect, the merging of the title from two words to one.
Original Title: Aeon Flux
New Title: AeonFlux
Although I can’t deny the graphical improvements made possible by the fusing, I do have major objections about placing the consonants “n” and “f” next to each other. Even the Polish don’t dare place such letters in too close a proximity. If my last name strikes fear into the heart of anyone who tries to pronounce it for the first time, imagine the devastation “nf” could cause. I think the ramifications are fairly obvious.
- If you liked the Aeon Flux series: -2
- You saw that comment about Charlize Theron in leather coming from a mile away: -3
- nf… -1
